Breaking Up With Your Place

OK y’all, today’s style and spirit topic and tips are around an uncomfortable subject: breakups. As in, is it time to break up with your place?

If your home makes you sad, mad, confused or frustrated, it’s time to adjust, or break up, with it. I know it’s not easy getting up and moving out — that’s not what I’m suggesting, especially in dense, big cities where the rental markets are as hard to catch as that soulmate. But if the chemistry and energy aren’t working, it’s time to mix things up.

Ask any good interior designer — this is the truth — the relationship you have with the place you call home is like dating. You gotta keep trying new things until it feels right.

OK, I’m going to share a secret most people won’t tell you. Recently, Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, the creator of Apartment Therapy, a.k.a. “Apartment Therapist” and I talked about how emotionally connected we are to our homes. Yes, YOUR emotions are deeply tied to your place. It makes sense, the ups and downs of your partner or housemate and memories — all that energy is confined within these walls.

So are you ready to take action so that you have a healthier relationship with your pad? I’ll walk you through this tough decision:

Take Action

To start, here are three questions to help you decide if your relationship with your home is healthy:

1. Does it serve your needs?

Just like any good partner, he/she should tend to your needs. I’m not talking about the overbearing, high-maintenance boo. I mean, does your house function in a way that it’s productive to what you need to do on a daily basis?

If you need to work at home, do you have a designated space to be productive? If the answer is no, take action. Clear out space to put a desk. If you already have a desk, declutter it. If you like to entertain and you don’t have enough seating, get some poufs or folding chairs.

2. Does it inspire you and make you want to nest?

I once heard Oprah’s design darling Nate Berkus say, “Your home should rise to meet you.” I will add, “It should rise to meet your best self.” Your home is your sanctuary, so you should feel comfortable and able to relax at home. If not, why? If it’s dusty and cluttered, chances are there is stuck energy in your place and in your life. You know when you’re feeling weighed down with too much stuff or if there are too many dust bunnies kissing your feet. So, take action. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small, clear out the clutter, give one thing away a day. If you need to clean, start with one room a day.

3. Does it make your heart happy?

Only you know if you’re comfortable in your place or if you’d rather be out and about and hate coming home. If you are the latter, then sit in the room for 10-15 minutes and pay attention to what you’re feeling. If you’re feeling swallowed by stuff, consider breaking up and giving away things you don’t use or that don’t spark joy. The key here is to be aware and present to what you’re feeling — then take action! I know we are creatures of habit, so it’s easy to be stuck in the doldrums of what we are used to. But start with baby steps and before you know it, you’ll have a happy, productive, beautiful relationship with your place.

I bet if you paid attention to how you’re feeling and address it — remember, baby steps — you and your place will live in harmony and love.

If you learned something new or if you want help with a design issue, hit me up in the comments below. Sharing is caring, so hit that follow button and share this with your peeps.

Onward,
Toan

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About Style Your Spirit

Every week, you’ll get fresh, quick videos with a SIMPLE design tip to create a BIG shift in your perspective. These videos were borne out my mission to inspire you to be aware of the beauty around — and inside you.

When you change your space, you change the place inside you. It’s even more exciting when you find it and share that spark and sparkle with others. Some of us just need a little inspiration to discover it and take action. You’ll find it here.

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