Here’s a little show-and-tell on how to set a formal dinner table:

Take Action

Remember BMW.

B is for bread plate on the upper left-hand side.

M is for meal/dinner plate in the middle.

W is for water cups, wine glasses or to step it up a notch, use goblets (or as I like to exaggerate the pronunciation, “Gob-laaays”).

Extra Extra (Pro Tips)

-Add a charger or larger decorative plate under your dinner plate to frame it.

-Cloth napkins make the meal feel more formal. While putting the napkin under the fork would suffice, setting it on the plate gives it a fancier feel.

A formal table setting doesn’t necessarily mean the experience has to be stiff and serious. It just feels more fabulous and lifts your spirits and the experience even more. 

As I’ve said, “Set your table, set your intention,” to show people you care about them. The whole dining experience changes when you take a little time to add a little detail. It goes a long way and shows your guests you love hosting them. 

Enjoy!
Toan

P.S., Put away those cell phones when you’re eating

The post How to Set a Formal Table and Set Your Intention appeared first on Go Inspire Go.

So many emotions and revelations emerged from my last session from December that I needed to sit with them. A couple days after the session, right after my morning workout, the “ahas” started to materialize. While walking to my car, I felt my gut telling me to go to a nearby park. I recorded my thoughts into this video diary. Don’t you love it when the messages flow in? Things like, “Where do I go next in my career?” “Why did I go through such big challenges last year?” “What did I learn from them?” “How can I be kinder to myself?” And perhaps the biggest revelation, “All along when I was feeling lost, I was learning more about my true path.” Hello, yellow brick road of revelations.

Here’s a recap of my three biggest lessons from 2018:

1. It’s OK to be/feel LOST

This year, I felt more lost than I ever have in my life. I realized that I put many of my professional goals on the backburner to heal and grieve the loss of my brother-in-law to suicide two summers ago. I felt guilty for not feeling like doing my to-do list and not motivated to achieve more on the professional front. Then, the realization hit me: I was grieving. I was so busy getting things done and helping my sister and her kids get things in order that I the grief didn’t settle in until a year later. I also learned this was teaching me about compassion, empathy and a deeper connection with God as well as those around me.

The truth is, we all feel lost in life. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not taboo. It’s OK. It’s is a process that leads us to the next chapter. Looking back at my career, I always knew the “why” but not the “how.” One day, I remembered thinking I had achieved all of my professional goals: TV reporter, host for PBS show and teaching at the university level. This is how I’ve remained patient and not driven myself crazy as I worked toward these dreams: I’ve become more comfortable with not having to know the how — that will reveal itself. You just need to take these steps:

a) Set your intention(s)
b) Take action toward the intention(s) that bring you excitement
c) Stay consistent
d) Surrender to what is and how things unfold (this last part is the hardest)

During a holiday party, Kelly Starrett, renowned coach and co-owner of San Francisco CrossFit, and I spoke about being OK in the lost-ness and that being lost is essential to finding the most authentic path for you. Nobody gets to where they are supposed to go without feeling lost and making mistakes. These are essential truths that lead us to becoming more of our authentic selves… #SoTrue #Adulting

He reminded me of the life lessons we spoke about during an interview with him for my “TruthDare” podcast.

2. #YouDoYouBoo

#AdultingIsHard. There is no handbook, life is truly a real-life “Choose Your Own Adventure” journey. I had many professional goals for myself this year, but felt like I fell short of some of them. But according to whose timeline? Only I know what I’m truly feeling. Only I know the challenges I’m experiencing. Only I know what my gut is telling me.

3. You Are Exactly Where You Are Supposed to Be

No matter what you are going through in life, know that it is the perfect place you’re supposed to be. Yes, even if it is a painful experience, it is here to teach you more about your best self. I’ve learned that experiences are like dots scattered on the floor. Each dot is an experience. When you learn from them, you connect the dots, which creates a zig-zag path that is supposed to be for you. No matter the experience laid before me — good, bad or ugly — each one has taught me more about myself, my character, my strength, my resilience and my spirit. I learned the heartache from the loss of a family member and helped me become more compassionate and empathetic toward others… including me.

So to all my fellow seekers, be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel all the feels so you can heal. It’s OK to be lost. Sit with it. Then work through it. Some people like to talk it out, some people journal, while others like to still in nature or if you’re like me, it’s all of the above. Breathe, be present and do things that excite you and use your power/talent to serve others.

Hooray to a new year, happy joyful soulful 2019!

As Oprah says, “Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”

What were your biggest lessons of 2018? What are your intentions for 2019? Wishing you an auspicious, joyful and LOVE-filled new year.

Xx
Toan

P.S. These free-flow video diaries are fun. I think I’m going to do more of them.

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The post Why I Went From New Year’s Resolutions to New Year’s Intentions appeared first on Go Inspire Go.

Remember to be bold, share beauty and have fun this year! The words that describe the essence I envisage this new season are BOLD, BEAUTY and FUN.

This winter, as I waited patiently for buds to bloom and spring to arrive, I had a quiet epiphany: Everything leading up to the cherry blossoms and flowers started long before buds emerged from branches and stems. The soil, water and sun all played a part in determining how big the blossoms will billow and how plentiful the yield of flowers and fruit will be. Just like how the intentions we set are the soil, the conversations and baby steps of action we take are the water and sunlight.

Admittedly, I am not the most patient of peeps. I’ve already checked my Instagram and email several times as I type this paragraph. I often feel like the branches of a fledgling tree clambering toward the sun or that next story or project to tackle. I’ve realized, as my spiritual friend Terrie Crowley once told me, when things seem slow, to relax. Enjoy it. Get rest. It’s God giving you time to restore and regain energy because things will become busy again as you continue to do God’s work.

I wrestle with the word “busy.” I hate it because it seems like a cover-up for not being attentive to things such as chores, going to the doctor and doing bills. Resting is not a part of my DNA. I’ve always felt restless when I sit idly too long. That’s why I am trying my hardest to continue a meditation practice. I’m currently doing Oprah and Deepak’s 21-Day Meditation Experience, aptly titled, “Finding The Lightness In Your Life — A Personal Journey.”

Lord, do I need light more than ever. While my interactions with people and Instagram posts are a great reminder of the beauty in life, I have also been sparring with darker issues. And boy, when it comes to the topic of grief, I feel like I’ve been sucker-punched over and over again.

Just when I thought I became an expert at grieving (I lost four family members in about a year’s time early in my career), I was knocked to the ground, spiritually, last summer when my brother-in-law committed suicide. As I often do when tragedy strikes, I wrote to right the insanity in my head.

Last week, I awoke to another terrible tragedy. My creative-spirit-dreamer-sister-friend Fiona Pattison pinged me on Facebook to tell me our friend Jonathan Walker, a well-known street busker in London and gentle spirit, passed away suddenly. The cause is still unknown. My heart sank. I jumped on a call with Fiona — she’s an intuitive — to talk and catch up. I told her I was OK and started talking about projects I’ve been working on.

She stopped me in my tracks and said, “No, how are you?” She sensed I had a deep grief-stricken sadness. She suggested I do some personal writing to heal. She was dead on. While I never have had thoughts of hurting myself, I did recognize I am in a dark place in my soul.

Besides writing, I am doing other things that bring me joy: CrossFit, handstand classes, coffee and tea dates and lots of design. Most days, I am rearranging something in my home to change the energy and change up what my eyes get bored with aesthetically. Oh, I can’t forget my almost daily practices: meditation, yoga and prayer.

Since last summer, I have prayed a lot and wrote in my journal I wanted a creative shift. I sought new ways to leverage audio and video in the nontraditional news style of my nonprofit Go Inspire Go, where, for a decade, I’ve told stories of everyday heroes to inspire the hero in you to help others.

As I’ve had time to reflect, I realized in my quest to help people find the hero in themselves, I, in turn, found the hero in me. I realized more of my true power — my voice and ability to lift, gift and shift people with my words and energy. Yes, that is my power. I’m OK with saying that because at first, I was like, “Who am I to say this? Who do I think I am?” Why do we shy away from our gifts, our magic, our fabulousness?

Now that spring has sprung, I’m taking stock of the seeds of intention I planted on New Year’s Day. I even blogged about it, with the intention to inspire others to take time to plant the seeds of intention and dream big.

So, here’s how I am living out this year’s mantra — BOLD, BEAUTY and FUN.

Being BOLD

In my journal, I wrote, “I want me and others to live and be more of our truth.” I caught myself saying, “I want an easier, free-flowing way to capture audio and video from conversations that I’ve been having with my beloved friends and family.” Be careful what you wish for! I launched my new TruthDare podcast with an All-Star lineup, including a star from Broadway, CrossFit legends and the first Mexican chef to earn a Michelin star.

I realized while I loved putting the Go Inspire Go “newsy”-style superhero videos together, it wasn’t my true authentic voice. Instead, I realized the format I love is more of a talk show-style, and that practice allowed me to rehearse my new TruthDare podcast.

Sharing Beauty in Design

Everybody who knows me knows I love me some design. Whether it’s observing nature’s magic with spring blooms or fall foliage, interior design, fashion or talking to friends about designing a life authentic to them, I’m always game for design of all types.

From strangers on Insta to my soul brothers and sisters, I’ve been urged to share more of my design tips. Within the past year, I’ve been entrusted with the task of totally redesigning the homes of some friends/clients. On a whim, I’ve shared design tips ranging from candle care to choosing that perfect paint color or rug that pulls the room together. I’ve taken on the challenge and will start delivering fun videos that answer your design dilemma questions.

The first question comes from my CrossFit coach and friend, Diane Fu — and fellow pal with a penchant for one too many candles — who asked me how I care for my candles. BTW, you can never have too many candles.

FUN Being Alive and Going LIVE

I have also been obsessed with live platforms — Instagram, Facebook — wow, technology is insane!

I’m not going to lie. Going live on FB is scary because there are no do-overs. Strangely, it’s also a place I feel most alive though. A few weeks ago, I met up with my soul brother Lonnell Williams for tea and we both ended the convo by saying we wished we could have recorded that conversation (actually, we say that every time we chat). Then we thought, wait, we can record our convos through Facebook! So for no other reason than having fun, we created our own LIVE talk show-style Facebook Live chats, appropriately named “YOLO with ToLo: Loving Life with Toan & Lonnell.”

Every Wednesday, we vow to get on Facebook and chat about topics that interest us, catch up on what we are doing in life and the little life lessons that challenge us to be our better selves.

Like the branches on a tree, it seems like my projects are going several different directions. However, they’re all rooted in the idea of designing your own life. I decided to use my newsletter to deliver design inspiration to your inbox. I’m calling it, “Design a Life that is True to YOU.”

You’ll get:

1. A short video on a design tip of the week. Again, the first one is about Candle Care 101.

2. I’ll introduce you to someone who has designed a life authentic to them. It’ll be a mash-up of someone I’ve met through Go Inspire Go, TruthDare or a link from an outside source. If you haven’t listened to the podcast yet, here’s Episode 1 — an introduction, intention and how it could help you in your journey to find your personal, professional or spiritual truth.

3. And for fun, I’ll include a link to the “YOLO with ToLo” chat. Here are the first two Facebook live videos:

Very first FB live w/ Lonnell Williams:

Facebook Live convo 2 with my soul brother Lonnell:

What are you doing to be bold and have fun this season? I want to know. Tweet/Insta/FB me at @toanlamtv.

So this season, I’m not looking toward the next. Cue one of my fave Carole King songs: “Winter, spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call and I’ll be there.” (Side note: If you haven’t seen “Beautiful: The Carole King Musical,” you must! I loved it so much I even interviewed Salisha Thomas, who plays a Shirelle sister in the Broadway musical.)

In the meantime, I’ll be indulging in the simple things: warm laundry from the dryer, snapping a sunrise or sunset, walking in nature, a magical interaction with a stranger. My goal is to enjoy every morsel of every season — even on chilly days, enjoying a wet walk in the rain — instead of longing for spring blooms and summer sun.

Onward,
Toan

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The post A Love Letter to Me — and Spring ❀ appeared first on Go Inspire Go.

How many of you subscribe to this way of thinking? New diet? New job? New boo? Do you set new personal, professional and spiritual goals during the new year?

So cliché, no?

I personally don’t set lofty goals just for the new year. Why? Because of a pattern of disappointment and feeling like a failure. Instead, I do check-ins periodically throughout the year. I call them “intention-setting sessions” and do them with my two soul sisters, Kate and Keely.

Several people have asked me what happens during these special intention-setting sessions, so I’ve decided to share with you. Remember, this is all about what works for you, so feel free to soak in what works and expunge what doesn’t resonate with you.

The Pow Wow — Setting Intentions

Intentions are like planted seeds. While strategizing and taking action are the sunlight and water, your intentions need to bloom and manifest. A few years ago, Kate, Keely and I decided to meet up every six months to have an intention-setting sesh. Why six months? We figured we could bookend the year with a session and check in mid-year in June to see how we are doing, what we like and don’t like about our lives and how to course correct. Swerve with us….

Why meet with folks?

There are no rules. This is designed to be in-the-flow and fun. If you like to be zen and do it alone, more power to ya. No need for soul sisters and brothers to bounce ideas off of. Just do a sole intention sesh with yourself. I find it to be helpful to talk it out, share insights and brainstorm ideas on how to take action on our intentions, strategies and solutions. It also helps to “talk about it” as you are more likely to stick to your intentions if you have others holding you accountable.

Pre-Planning, Homework Before the Intention-Setting Session

A few weeks before we meet, we do a little pre-sesh homework. We each create a document that works for us. I like to write, so I have a Word doc that outlines six months of adventures, travels, highs, lows, etc. Keely likes visuals, so she includes pie-charts, graphs and photos. Kate likes to draw, so she does everything by hand, with colored pencils and pens.

If you need more structure, you could use a year planning booklet such as YearCompass. (Thanks Kate for organizing us and for the tip). This free downloadable gem of booklet helps you organize life events, goals, milestones, etc. from last year and the year ahead. It’s chock full of awesomeness and reminders to “Arrive, Put on some relaxing music, Pour yourself a hot beverage, Let go of all your expectations, Start when ready.”

How It Goes Down

We generally start out the morning with a brisk walk, 15-30 minutes.

Kate hosts the sessions in her San Francisco apartment.

We meditate for 10 minutes.

Next, we spend 40 minutes reflecting on the past six months.

Break: Kate makes us an amazing Japanese-style breakfast — yum!

Then, we spend 40 minutes reflecting on what are intentions are for the next six months. They range from personal, professional and spiritual things we want to manifest.

For example, one year, I wanted to find more truth to my journey personally and professionally. I wrote in my intention journal that I wanted to find an easier, more user-friendly platform to record conversations I have been having with friends.

I remember thinking, “There are so many life lessons and spiritual learnings from these conversations. How do I record these on the fly and get them out to a wider audience?”

Voila! My dear friend Celeste Perry, a radio DJ in San Francisco, connected me to the amazing folks at Strawberry Hill Productions. We created the TruthDare podcast, a series of illuminating conversations with badasses who took the leap of faith to follow their true calling. The goal of the podcast is to inspire listeners to dare to find their truth.

Fast-forward a year — woo hoo! I have had so many soul-stirring conversations with truth-tellers like Ari Afsar, who stars as Eliza Hamilton in “Hamilton,” Carlos Gaytan, the first Mexican chef to earn a Michelin star and Juliet and Kelly Starrett, who are legends in the CrossFit world.

As I journaled about my past year, I was overwhelmed by all the miracles and blessings. My cup runneth over with gratitude. When you speak your truth, the universe helps you find flow to support your journey.

Friends and strangers connected me to the amazing lineup of interviewees. I found support through sponsors like Moeloco (most inspiring flip-flops that are good for your soul and sole), Weal Life (an app that makes it easier to coordinate care for your loved one) and MobilityWOD (“the ultimate guide to eliminating pain, preventing injury and maximizing athletic performance”). Thank you Jesus!

After reflecting, we close out the session with an hour of sharing what worked, what didn’t, how course correct to make changes that support our journey and how we support one another. I’ve learned we are not alone in our journey. I’ve also realized the key to joy is in finding that truth that excites you and taking actions to manifest and follow it — knobby knees, heart palpitations, sweaty palms and all! When you use your talents in service of others, somehow, someway, God, the universe, a higher intelligence guides you.

This last part may or may not be for you, but since Kate, Keely and I believe in God and the divine, we pull a few angel cards, which correspond with words that may signify the year to come. My words this year were “Love,” “Unity” and “Forgiveness.” Each word corresponds with ancient wisdom in an accompanying booklet on how this angel will guide us in the coming year.

That’s it! Remember, there are no hard and fast rules to the intention-setting session. It’s your intention, so go with your gut. Create a session that works for you. Be in the flow — write, draw, play — as long as you are setting intentions that align with your values and wildest dreams. Good luck and happy new year!

Onward,
Toan

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