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Whenever I get the chance — whether it be to my students, mentees or audiences at speaking engagements — I tell people, “Be careful what you think; your thoughts become your words. Then be careful what you say because your words, when spoken, become real. You manifest the reality.”

So when you hear yourself saying, “I’m fat, ugly, not good enough. I can’t <fill in the blank>,” check yourself and instead tell yourself, “I’m working on being more healthy. I’m going to be my best self and I can. I believe it.”

Your intentions are more powerful than you think.

For example, I originally intended to use my powers — which I believe are my resources, talents and network — to inspire kids and the elderly. Why? Well, because kids and elders are closest to the spirit world. Not to get all weird and woo woo, but hear me out.

They know what’s important in life. The true meaning of life: to have fun and to be our best self and help others. Kids are not preprogrammed to find a job, attain material things and work to pay bills. Elders have wisdom. They’ve lived life and can tell you a thing or two about life’s abundant lessons.

Be careful what you wish for and think, because it will come true.

My intention when creating my nonprofit Go Inspire Go — to serve the youth and inspire them through storytelling — led me to my dear friend Kala Shah, a mother of three young boys. Together, we created the Community Heroes program, which uses our videos about everyday heroes in schools to inspire compassion and action — and the next generation of service-oriented heroes!

While there was no Community Heroes program to help inspire me while growing up, there was my grandma. My late paternal grandmother, whom we call “Ma,” instilled spirituality, compassion and altruism in me, and was the catalyst for my soft spot for elders. I knew one day I would do something with elders. I just didn’t know how that would manifest.

Last fall out of the blue, my friend and brother in journalism Richard Lui, an NBC and MSNBC anchor, emailed me because AARP was looking for a storyteller to head a project on Chinese American caregivers. Little did I know I was about to embark on a legacy project — a project that would inspire, educate and open me up in ways words cannot accurately describe.

The next thing I knew, I signed on to become the executive producer of “Caregiving: The Circle of Love,” a documentary featuring three caregiving heroes in the Asian American community: Richard and two other caregivers, Elizabeth Chun (a “sandwich caregiver”) and Lily Liu (AARP Historian Emerita).

The full circle moment — I present to you the West Coast premiere of the documentary at my alma mater, the University of San Francisco:

What I learned from this experience and action items:

1. Where do I even begin? I learned we are all connected through caregiving. One day we will either have to give care or receive care, or perhaps both.

2. My family and I did the best we could, but there are many ways we could’ve been better prepared to care. The goal of this documentary is to inspire everyone to initiate a dialogue with their loved ones about caregiving. Use this film as a conversation starter, then follow up with this content-rich “Prepare to Care” toolkit from AARP. This will save you and your family a lot of physical, emotional and fiscal heartache.

3. For more caregiving resources, visit aarp.org/caregiving.

Onward and upward,
Toan

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The post AARP caregiving documentary my full-circle moment appeared first on Go Inspire Go.

At the time, I was at my first TV job reporting for the ABC station in Wausau, Wisconsin. One day after work, my brother called and told me Dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer. He had six months to live.

What followed was a blur. I took an emergency flight home to assess the situation and sensed my father’s death was imminent. I decided to quit my job and packed as much stuff as I could into my Honda Civic to move back home. Thank God for my best friend, Keely Stevenson, who flew out to Wisconsin to accompany me on the long trip back to Sacramento. God was watching us because she learned how to drive a stick shift after only an hour of practice in a parking lot before we headed out on the winding, icy roads. Woo wee.

Little did I know, my difficult journey would really begin after I arrived back home to take care of my pops. Much of my time and energy were spent tending to his needs and trying to get closure on our relationship. Six months after his diagnosis, Dad passed. My family had no time to breathe, as we were busy taking care of my aunt who also had cancer and both grandmothers whose health was declining because of old age.

While we tried our best to take care of our loved ones, I admit we were not prepared for the toll it would take on us physically, fiscally, emotionally and spiritually. This was the darkest time in my life. Ever.

Regrets quickly flooded my consciousness.

I wished I had documented the many untold stories that withered away with each family member’s passing. Many people had suggested I should capture their narratives on video. I’m a storyteller for God’s sake. Why didn’t I? My gut knew this was important, but I didn’t listen to that nagging voice as if going through that exercise meant admitting to the reality they were going to die.

That was 16 years ago. Wow, time flies. It does heal some wounds. But still, when I see something randomly that reminds me of them, I break down in tears. What I learned is that we can’t worry about what will happen in life, but we can take action now to do things within our control. Like being prepared to give care.

For the past year, I’ve had the honor of partnering with AARP to be the executive producer of a documentary titled “Circle of Caregiving,” which features three caregiving heroes in the Chinese American community.

A flood of emotions came over me after meeting the folks in the documentary and hearing their stories. Richard Lui is an NBC/MSNBC anchor in New York who travels to San Francisco each week to be with his father who has Alzheimer’s disease. There’s also former educator Elizabeth Chun, a “sandwiched caregiver” who takes care of her elderly mother and five grandchildren. Lastly, we look at Lily Liu, who left her job as AARP’s historian to be the sole caregiver of her elderly mother.

The truth is, we are all connected to this thing called caregiving no matter who we are or where we come from. We all have received care while growing up and we all may be called upon someday to provide care for someone else.

I took on this epic project in the hopes that you and your family will be more prepared than my family was in all aspects of caregiving.

The goals of this documentary are to let caregivers know they’re not alone in their caregiving journey, to inspire caregivers to capture the stories of their loved ones before it’s too late and to let them know there is a gold mine of resources for caregivers through AARP’s “Prepare to Care” guide.

Two full-circle moments: Not only am I able to give back to everyone who has supported me in my personal caregiving journey through the making of this film, I’m also returning to my old stomping grounds, my alma mater the University of San Francisco, to launch the documentary. The USF School of Education is co-sponsoring the AARP event on Tuesday, June 21, where we will unveil the documentary and host a Q&A with Richard and Lily. From my heart, I invite you and your loved ones to attend the premiere, join the conversation and begin the dialogue of caregiving and being prepared to care.

Click here to RSVP for the S.F. launch, and hope to see you there!

Onward and upward,
Toan

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The post The One Regret I Don’t Want You to Make appeared first on Go Inspire Go.

Moving away meant missing important dates, celebrations and soirées with my family and friends back in California. I remember working the weekend shift during Christmas and calling home, only to be passed around from family member to family member to say hello. I could almost smell the yummy turkey mixed with the Chinese and Vietnamese food my mom and aunties would bring. Staring outside the station’s newsroom window at a cemetery across the street, I had an epiphany — life was way too short to sacrifice so much. But I knew this was the part of the deal when going into the news biz — working crazy hours and holidays.

Eventually, I moved on to Midland, Texas; Fresno, Calif. and San Francisco to chase my dream of being a TV reporter in a big city. Check. Though I had finally achieved my goal, I ended up leaving it during the down economy. I didn’t want to report on bad news anymore.

Oprah said, “God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can for yourself.” I always tell my students and mentees, “Be careful what you think — your thoughts become your words — and be careful what you say, because what you say has the power to influence yourself and others and it can become your reality.”

Now that I am close to four decades old (wow when put like that, it seems like a lot of time has passed) I only want to take on projects that bring me joy. Things like Go Inspire Go, a nonprofit I founded that allows me to meet and tell inspiring stories about everyday heroes — stories that have sparked the hero in readers/viewers across the globe to help the featured person or cause.

I also yearned to work with children and inspire them to be better and do better for themselves and others. Then God/Universe brought me to Kala Shah, my co-hero, to create “Community Heroes,” a youth program helping raise the next generation of heroes.

The latest development for Community Heroes is an exciting new partnership with the Institute for Spirituality and Health in Houston to develop a dynamic, open framework “Community Heroes of Houston” program. This video-based curriculum highlights everyday heroes and leverages social media platforms to exercise “the compassion muscle.” It’s essentially the building blocks to spiritual identity and will help kids grow to their fullest potential.

I also fulfilled my dream of being an instructor at the university level. I teach storytelling at the Academy of Art in San Francisco and have taught at my alma mater, the University of San Francisco.

My passion work also includes a project that nearly completes my list of career dreams — doing something with elders. Aside from working with kids, this is something I’ve always wanted to do. My paternal grandmother inspired the values, spirituality and a huge shift in me as a person, so I have always had a soft spot in my heart for the elderly.

Last fall, my friend Richard Lui, an NBC and MSNBC anchor, introduced me to the folks at AARP. I teamed up with the organization to create three short documentaries on caregiving heroes in the Asian American community. Stay tuned for more as we launch the doc in New York and San Francisco later this year!

Which brings me back to the topic at hand — chasing, chasing, chasing — something. Recently, I’ve had conversations with friends and mentees that revolve around the idea of letting things come to you. That doesn’t mean sitting on your booty, saying “omm” and thinking things will just come to you on a silver platter. It means doing what is in your power. It might be sending out a resume, making a call or simply telling others about what you are pursuing. When you put it out into the world and if it’s aligned with your authentic self, it will manifest. I’ve stopped trying to go to every networking event, emailing and calling and running around wasting my energy.

I’m trying to go with the flow and if I feel my gut nudging me to do it, I listen. The hard part is being in tune with yourself and honoring the feelings of “No, I don’t want to go” or “I should just check it out really quick.” As I write this, I’m feeling another chill, another “A ha!” and realizing many of the concerns I had when I was younger were nothing. I was able to check off the goals on my list because they aligned with who I really am.

Growing up poor with an immigrant “can do” attitude, I have been on the go for most of my life. I wanted to be everywhere and do everything. I felt like an awkward swan walking on land when I worry. So I choose to step into a lake and flow.

When I catch myself worrying these days, I do the following:

1. Trust that when the time is right for me to meet someone or do something, God will connect us. I remind myself I’m supposed to be exactly where I am right now. From time to time, I still have to remind myself that it’s all good, but I have trained myself to immediately go to that place in my mind when that little worrywart in me comes out.

2. Talk about what I want to do with myself and others and write them down. It really does come together.

3. Time is important, so when I start stressing or worrying about something, I remind myself, “All the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” That’s one of my favorite quotes from Paulo Coelho.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and concerns about why things have or haven’t manifested in your life.

Onward and upward,
Toan

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The post Chasing After Your Dreams? Slow Down and Savor the Ride appeared first on Go Inspire Go.