The Secret to Being in the Flow

How many of you feel in the flow? The truth is, even when life isn’t going the way we expect — and Lord knows many times it seems that way — we can be in the flow.

Everyone and everything is here to teach us something. It’s up to us to glean the learnings or they will reappear in a different way, shape or form. Challenges are merely opportunities for us to spread our wings when we’re ready to fly.

Since I left my day job nearly 10 years ago to be in tune with my passion, which I express through my nonprofit, Go Inspire Go, I’ve started to be more in my flow. This flow also led me to my podcast, TruthDare, to interview people who have found their truth and are daring you to find and live yours.

Recently, I launched my very own modern-day talk show with my soul brother, Lonnell Williams. “YOLO With ToLo” is an innovative LIVE social media talk show hosted by me (Toan) and Lonnell, a.k.a “ToLo.” “ToLo” also stands for “Transforming Our Lives Organically” through lively banter. This weekly interactive experience on Facebook Live “lifts and shifts” viewers through conversation and crowdsourced wisdom every Wednesday night (10 PM ET/7 PM PT) at

Talk about flow, you’ll have to watch to see how we met and how Lonnell became friends with Oprah. As Oprah told Lonnell, “There are no coincidences, just divine order.”

Imagine that — if you flipped the script and thought, “Whatever I’m currently experiencing, I’m supposed to experience. It’s a part of my story and it’s here to help me grow.” What would your life look like? How would you feel? I hope you’ll feel the shift I felt when I asked myself these questions.

Most of life’s whispers come to me in stillness, and the messages amplify as I spend time in nature. One of my goals this year is to spend more time outdoors, so I’ve been scheduling time daily to focus on it. I’ll go on morning walks to the water when I have the time. I live near the San Francisco Bay, so it’s right in my backyard. But when I don’t have the luxury of me-time, I try to focus on a flower in my home or neighborhood, or stare up above into the clouds to reconnect with God.

I love being in nature as much as I love analogies, so how natural of me to use nature to explain “flow.” Did you know a butterfly needs to struggle in its cocoon before emerging? If it doesn’t, the fluids won’t push through the body into its wings to become strong enough to break free and fly.

Think about the struggles you’ve encountered in your life. Release the expectations and just stay in the present moment. In time, what should happen will happen. How did they help you spread your wings? Talk about metamorphosis!

If you look at a swan walking on land, it waddles and walks funny. But once it rests upon the water, it floats and it flows.

Are you going through something that is knocking you off balance? It’s OK, go through your human emotions, cry, work out and talk it out if you need to. Just know that you can and will find the effortless flow that only you know how to find.

While on a walk with my neighbor and spiritual friend Patience, an elderly woman who is a psychotherapist by trade, we talked about the idea of “being in the flow” or “beating to your own tune and not apologizing about being authentically you.”

So now, when I freak out when my expectations aren’t turning out the way I want them to, I think, “Are you flowing?” For me, exercising, writing and talking to trusted people in my life help me remember to get back in the flow. The key is to breathe, be in the present moment and ask yourself, “What is this lesson I’m supposed to learn?”

Nothing makes me feel more alive than helping people discover and use their power to help themselves and others. Most of the time, I’m in that space and don’t let my ego get in the way because of doubt and negative self-talk.

I know we are not alone in this. You aren’t either. The key is to find what helps you be in your element so you can go and flow. Are you glowing and flowing? We’d like to know. Leave me and Lonnell a message at YOLO With ToLo. You only live once, so it’s time to do you, be free and flow.


Follow us: Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram.

Related Posts

Wipe Right on Cloth Napkins

One of the best ways to fancify your dinner table and make your guests feel a bit more fab is to use cloth napkins.